We are quick to wonder, "What is happening with these children?" Are we serious? These children are doing what children have done since the beginning of time. They are mimicking the adults in their families, and in their communities.
Boys watch their fathers drink and smoke and long for the day when they can do the same. And, more and more, they watch men shoot other men, and what American courts declare, "He stood his ground." Some of these children are beginning to wonder, "When bullied, do I have a right to "Stand my ground, too?" It is a legitimate question for children to ask when they see their fathers getting away with it.
There have been bullies since the Earth first took us on. We have all been bullied at some point in our lives - at home, at school, at work, and at play. As children, we learned to negotiate our way around that bully, or fight. And, for the most part, that is how we got through childhood. Come adulthood, the same principle applied: Negotiate your way out or fight. Now, this "Wild West" culture has sprung up in America where you do not have to negotiate anymore. If someone threatens you, shoot him. That is your right. And, since nearly everyone in America has a gun nowadays, it is about to come down to who has the quickest draw... again. Only in America.
I am not saying that what happened in Oxford is indicative of men "standing their ground." I bring up Oxford because it is immediate; more to the point, because schools are the venue where the majority of childhood bullying is most likely to occur. It is that "bullying" as much as anything else that is the catalyst for these terrible "stand your ground" moments.
Adults must accept full responsibility for having ushered in this third option: the option to shoot. We have condoned men shooting other men in America as though such archaic permissiveness had no chance of seeping into childhood culture and affecting how children handle their own conflicts; without acknowledging that it is the nature of children to mimic adult behavior, no matter how destructive our behavior becomes.
Children cannot legally own a handgun. However, many children own rifles. Kyle Rittenhouse was 17 when he took an AR-15 rifle and shot three people - killing two and badly wounding a third. The court ruled he acted in self-defense. Do you think other children were not watching? They watched, and they listened as many in America declared Rittenhouse "a hero." Do you think those children did not like the sound of that? They are children; we all were at one time. We were often quite impressionable.
I remember school. There, I saw more busted lips, black eyes, and bloodied noes than my father ever saw on his job. I never thought about shooting anyone; I don't think anyone did. I, like the others, negotiated my way around bullies or fought. When we were coming up in the '50s, '60s, and '70, those were the only two options we had.
These were the good ol' days when men and boys could have their disputes, and still make it home in time for dinner... perhaps sporting a black eye, or two.
