Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Why Not Trump?

This is America, the Land of Opportunity. It is a country where any boy or girl, no matter how rich or humble their origin, can become president. We were told this in grade school. Like you and me, Trump probably sat at a small desk practicing his cursive, while being told the same thing. So, why not Trump?

All presidential candidates are saddled with their own unique set of problems. Trump’s are magnified because he wants it that way. Some people call that “crazy”, some call it “confidence”, others call it “genius.” You get the sense with Trump that if you were to find a skeleton in his closet, he’d simply say, “That’s where it belongs.” 

Many of Trump’s detractors are plain phonies. Trump reminds us of the America Americans like to pretend does not exist. You hear them say of Trump’s outrageous blasts, “America is better than that.” No, it is not. American is what it is. Trump makes it see itself in techni-colored animation. They chide him as the antithesis of America when, in many ways, he is its mirror image.

It’s like this, folks:  Donald Trump is a megalomaniac; America’s id – an unconscious burst of energy derived from that ethereal substance in America’s DNA that wants it all. He is big, brash, and a bullying bomb-thrower. He does what he wants, when he wants. Impulsive, spoiled, he is the “Ugly American.” And his people love him because he shamelessly seeks to satisfy their insatiable thirsts for more. 

When Trump’s minions look at him, they see America in all of its glory, and its infamy. They do not mind. They just want to win. Iowa aside, no one wins like Trump; just ask him. 

So, why not Trump? Because Rubio will beat him in the primaries. Then, he will beat Hillary in the general election. 

Rubio is bright – the Republican’s Barack Obama. Hillary is dated, and she screeches. Besides, America loves small children in the White House, especially girls. Witness Amy, Chelsea, the Bush twins, and Sasha and Malia. Rubio does not have girls; he has two handsome little boys. America will love them, too.

Hillary has Bill. Kind of creepy when you think of it:  Like having the ghost of presidents past knocking around the White House. No, thanks.

Rubio, 2016! That’s the best America can do this time around.

Monday, February 1, 2016

In Bizzarro World, the Unlikeliest is Likely

Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton have a problem. Both entered this presidential campaign as the likely nominees for their respective parties. Both are "establishment" candidates in a year when the establishment is scorned.

Jeb, who is polling at 4% in national polls (while his most formidable opponent, Donald Trump, is polling around 30%), could be on the verge of getting his walking papers. Hillary's numbers, too, are slipping. Fortunately for Hillary, her chief opponent, Bernie Sanders, is a 73 year-old, self-proclaimed socialist. Unfortunately for Hillary, the FBI is investigating her for improprieties in her handling of classified emails. They are also looking in the possibility that she may have used her position as head of the State Department to peddle influence with foreign entities on behalf of the Clinton Foundation. An unlikely indictment would likely derail her presidential hopes, clearing the path for the first socialist to head a major party ticket. Waiting for him could be an unlikely Republican nominee in the person of the inimitable Donald Trump.

Imagine, America's top capitalists going toe-to-toe against its pre-eminent communist. In the land of the "Almighty Dollar - Mean Green!"  it is likely "The Donald" would blow the old Bolshevik right out of his troika. Except, 'tis the season of the unlikely.