Don't Go There...

They are better than us - these women, 

    I'd say

Closer to heaven in every way

With their hands and their hopscotch

    (certainly nothing wicked)

Yet, even as girls

They scared us to crickets.

(Such secrets, such eyes

So much more civilized.)

Not good enough - they want to be like the boys

    Want to try those hands

    Want to re-tip the scales

    Want to make their own stand.

"Want more women's sports?

They'll take the call

Yet, they can't fly high

    with a basketball."

"They are queens and models

Cat and canarys, at once

Such sweet music they make

If only they could dunk...

What started out as Title IX

To give girls a chance to play

Has become a curious parody

Of when, and when not to pay,

They have given us the professional WNBA

(Along with a concerted attempt to mislead)

There is a dearth of great talent there

Certainly, no dearth of great greed.

Comes soon a women's Flag Football League

With the NFL's commish as high patron

He will falsely declare "must-see games"

What we know will be pure recreation. 

In '28 we will call them "Olympians"

For playing kiddie football, for Christ's sake

Fits a pattern of social engineering

Corrects God's awful mistake. 

Women rise to the top anywhere they chose:

Business, politics, even war

But, when it comes to athletic excellence

"Katie done barred the door!" 

Cash in your glories - call yourselves "studs"

Go to where the maned lion lingers

You've only descended the mountainside 

To forever be a league of pretenders. 

So be it - you have nothing to prove

What truly matters is plain to see: 

When we boys were hanging from every limb

It's you girls who coaxed us out of the tree.